Bonita is a 47 year old mother of a six year-old. She has a genuine smile and passionate concern in her eyes as she speaks of her child. With a small child at home, life definitely didn’t slow down for her when she got cancer. Amazingly, she is still able to do most things she did for her daughter pre-cancer. Yet, she mentions launching her child’s toys to the loft above the living room is a bit more difficult after her mastectomy. While the lingering pain doesn’t stop her, the incessant anxiety that developed later does keep her from returning fully to her normal routine. Her mind constantly turns about the possibility of the cancer coming back and about people in letting her down again, just as she had experienced when she was first diagnosed. There was so much support to “get through” the treatments but little support to manage what this post-chemotherapy and radiation period would be like. The first wave of anxiety developed early on with the initial diagnosis and didn’t dissipate. After the chemotherapy to the radiation and moved to the ‘dreaded checkups with only two options – good or bad news.’ She tells of how she loves to paint. She paints pictures of beautiful faces and bodies. This is how she distracts herself from the ugliness she believes to still be inside her body.
In Buddhism, the most fundamental belief is that there is Buddha nature, a beautiful and glowing light that is life, within every living being. The parable in the Lotus Sutra of ‘The Gem in the Robe,’ is a story about a poor man who visits his wealthy friend, speaks of this magnificent nature within.
The Gem in the Robe
The house was a very priceless one
and served many trays of delicacies
The friend took a priceless jewel,
sewed it in the lining of the poor man’s robe,
gave it without a word and then went away,
and the man, being asleep, knew nothing of it.
After the man had gotten up,
he journeyed here and there to other countries,
seeking food and clothing to keep himself alive,
finding it very difficult to provide for his livelihood.
He made do with what little he could get
and never hoped for anything finer,
unaware that in the lining of his robe
he had a priceless jewel.
Later the close friend who had given him the jewel
happened to meet the poor man
and after sharply rebuking him,
showed him the jewel he sewed into the robe.
When the poor man saw the jewel,
his heart was filled with great joy,
for he was rich, possessed of wealth and goods
sufficient to satisfy the five desires.
We are like that man.
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, anxiety is often seen as a result of severe emotional stress which disrupts the qi mechanism, the appropriate flow of energy, throughout the body. It can be compounded by a deficient health state, including a severe illness and a weakened immune system. For patients with anxiety, one element of acupuncture works to resolve the underlying cause by promoting the proper flow of qi. Once the needles are inserted, Bonita gracefully drifts into a peaceful state of relaxation. It will not permanently turn off her worried state of mind but it delivers relief from the stream of negative thoughts and maybe, for a moment, provides her with the insight that the beautiful gem that is life lies within her.
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